i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Randomize
