imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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