I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Randomize
