i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
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