just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
