so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
