Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
