How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
