I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
