Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
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