Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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