and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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