Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
