i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
Porn is love you can see.
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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