uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
There's always time for handjobs
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
