Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
