Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
