Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
