Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Of course I have a pirate flag
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
