if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
