He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
