is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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