wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize