Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
The police scanner is talking about you again....
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
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