Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
