if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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