Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I just found puke in my bra..
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize