I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
