Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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