You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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