Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Randomize
