How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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