There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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