so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
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