I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
