His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
We need to get me chipped asap
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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