no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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