I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
