Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
