so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize