well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Actually, what with the curvature of the Earth, it's faster to leave from Washington. And Google maps recommends kayaking instead of swimming.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
