i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
