Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
