What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Randomize
