Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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