Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
