do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
