Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
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