Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
