Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
