This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Drunk walkin through police station. America
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
