i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
You took a bar mat shot.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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