You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
