Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Randomize
