you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Randomize
