I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize