Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Don't make out with my wife yet
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
