I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
