just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
