sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Randomize
